I’ve been talking about conformity with my clients lately. I think it’s extremely important to know how seductive being part of the “cool” group is. In our culture, being thin (or having toned arms and abs) tricks us into believing that we have a seat at the cool table.
In a recent article, Gina Rodriguez opens up about not being a size 2. (BTW, If you haven’t seen her show “Jane the Virgin” you are missing out!!) But I digress…The article states that Gina was once afraid to not have a typical body but “she just knows now that she doesn’t have to fit it”. And what a fantastic place to be.
As stated in my previous article, fitting in is an illusion of belonging. It causes you to change who you are in order to be part of a group. Where belonging is something that happens naturally. If you want to learn more about this, Joel goes into more depth as he covers Brené Brown’s brilliant book “The Gifts of Imperfection”.
Just as being thin is an illusion that we can avoid shame, blame and criticism, dieting creates an illusion that we can control our weight loss endeavors. But we don’t actually remove our weight. It’s something our body does for us. We don’t physically reach in and pull out our fat, and unless you get surgery it’s not something you will ever be able to do. So why are we so attracted to dieting if we really aren’t in control anyway?
The illusion of control is seductive. We think we can monitor our food and exercise and then influence the direction of the scale. But we all know that there are times we do things perfectly and the scale doesn’t move down, and other times we don’t do things perfectly and it does. There are also people walking around who don’t monitor their food and exercise and somehow they don’t have a weight issue.
You simply need to learn how to be that person who doesn’t monitor their food and exercise to live in their ideal body. There is a re-education that needs to happen to help you understand how these people live. I’ve been in your shoes, and I’ve been one of those people who lives free of weight fear.
But the very first step… is to let go of the seduction of dieting. Let go of the illusion that you are in control. Then you can learn how to navigate the world of food, exercise and body image. Lucky for you, I have an entire classroom to do that very thing.